All You Need Is Love

"All you need is love" - The Beatles

I'm a huge fan of The Beatles. No, I'm not that old, but I do have fond memories listening to them growing up. Their music spanned a huge range of genres and styles, but there are are songs of theirs that are just simple, pure, and deep. And what really hits me about these songs isn't just their depth, it's that my understanding of their depth gets greater with time. "All You Need Is Love" is a perfect example. For now, I'll forgo an in-depth analysis of the lyrics and just stick with the title and the evolution of my understanding of it.

At first, I thought that all you needed was love to be happy in a relationship. I've seen the song quoted in several movies to this effect. Sadly though, I eventually learned that simply loving someone isn't enough to maintain a relationship with them; there is a lot of work that needs to go into it, and there's a certain level of compatibility that has to be there. Without those other factors, the relationship will fail, no matter how much the two people love each other.

After realizing that my first interpretation was incorrect, I came to another conclusion. I decided that the song wasn't talking about relationships per se, but was instead talking about your own happiness in general; in essence the "You" was singular, not plural. So, my understanding of the song shifted towards being happy, even if alone, if you were loved by those around you. Support systems of close friends and loved ones have been key to helping me through some trying times, so this made perfect sense.

That is, at least, until I realized that I was wrong again. People are, well, human. They aren't always there when you need them, even if they'd really like to be. So, how can you base your happiness on something external, something outside of your control? You can't. And at that moment, my understanding of this simple lyric reached new depth. You aren't made happy by people loving you, you are made happy by loving people. It doesn't matter what people in your life do or think or say or feel; it matters what you do for them, think about them, say to them, or feel about them. Happiness comes from within. Happiness comes from loving, even if in silence or from a distance or without acknowledgement, not from being loved.

So if you're feeling lonely, stuck, or at your wits' end and are desperately searching for love, summon the will to give that love first to someone around you. You'd be surprised by just how much strength there is to be had in loving someone without question, hesitation, or thought of reward.

(I'd like to toss out a special thanks to my daughter Abigail for teaching me what it means to love unconditionally, so that I can show that love to others in return.)